Hard Soldier

It's the little things that really count

The big things in life that cause change are plain and simple, right in front of your face, and there is nothing you can do about them except for suck it up and embrace the changes. The little things now those are the types of things that drives a guy mad and makes a postal worker shoot everyone because they stopped putting two ply toilet paper in the bathroom. Now that same postal worker probably caught his wife cheating on him that morning with a Mogolian midget but, that he accepted. No it was the toilet paper that made him snap. Ok so this is my dillema, I smoke. I smoke like a locomotive in the 1800's I mean come on I'm in a warzone and it's just a little stressful so smoking helps. That is not my problem though, I don't mind having to walk a mile to the smoking area because the non-smoker Nazi's don't want me polluting their air. These things don't bother me, but what does bother me is walking into the PX and they dont have the ciggarrettes that I smoke. I mean come on people if the good old US of A can pay welfare out to non working non tax paying unemployed citizens the least they can do is make sure that Joe has Marlboro lights at the PX. Because nothing calms a guy down after getting blown up like the Marlboro man. You want to know what else is driving me a little close to the edge? OK in order to use your American appliances here in Iraq and Kuwait you need a power transformer, they sell these at the PX for prices around 39.99 -79.99 but thats not what drives me nuts because I don't mind shelling out the cash as long as it works, it's like paying too much for a cheap car but hey I guess if it works right? That's not the problem, the problem is that they all have a fuse that blows right after you start using the thing and guess what? They don't sell the freakin fuses at the PX! So now I have this box and no fuse for it. I think I am going to swear off electricity and become a cave man. Maybe I could get a job with GEICO doing commercials or something. Oh I know! I could stand in parking lots and let kids take pictures with a cave man for five bucks a piece! Watch out for the little things readers because one day they are going to run out of two ply toilet paper.

Sleep is for suckers!

Wow! I'm back and let me tell you folks I have had a couple days off and, I just don't know what the hell to do with myself. My body is so used to staying up funky hours that everything is closed because I am so used to being up in the night and sleeping all day. So anyway I got a really nice typed letter from a couple in Ohio and I would like to give a shout out to them for supporting the troops I appreciate the mail if I get a chance I will stop by the general store and ask old man Winters if he has some stamps so I can write back. I'm really not used to writing regular letters anymore and I don't think that is a good thing. Has technology really gotten that good when you can't remember the last time you wrote an old fashioned letter? Anyways your letter has given me the drive to put aside the caprel tunnel inducing keyboard and respond! I just hope I can still spell because last I checked good old paper didn't have spell check. So if you get a letter that has a bunch of crossed out stuff and slashes, just make fun of me in the letter when you respond. I hope all of my readers go to Staples or Offie Depot oday and buy some paper and pens and sit down and just write an old school love letter to their wives, girlfriends, boyfriends or husbands, hell you should even spray your perfume in the envelope for that extra little kick.

"We don't need no stinking badges"

Aaahhh! I'm back in good ol Kuwait for a couple of days, you know I never thought I would be happy to be here but A trip around the country of Iraq and the city of Baghdad is just enough to make a man miss the blistering desert like the prom date you never got to sleep with but ran into at the grocery store all grown up. So anyway I was on a mission from hell! and when I say hell I don't mean the nice parts of hell, no no no I mean the bad part of hell, the part of hell where Satan rolls his windows up when he drives through. This trip wasn't bad because we got shot at or blown up, oh no that would have been welcomed compared to the weaponry that we were bombarded with for an entire week. This weapon of mass destruction has been terrorizing Infantry soldiers for years and there is no countermeasure. A womans scorn, thank god I wasn't the guy in charge this time because I would have gone about crazy and shot myself to stop the insanity. Nope unfortunatley for good ol SFC Toby Nunn of Bad Voodoo fame, he had the responsibility of telling this five foot tall convoy nazi that we were the killers and around here "we don't need no stinking badges". I don't think I would have had the balls to do it because man this lady was like "I am woman hear me roar!" Hell I can't even tell my wife no, so much for being a tuff guy killer huh.